the birthday! Happy 21st to me!

My day couldnt hv gone any better. Other than the fact that i was sick and i skipped school just to rest at home. I was happy to meet up with the boy the night before. I swear i was missing him the whole day. And although I had my bro, his fiancee and Zaidi for prezzie shopping, I was just thinking of rushing back just see him.

Anyways, a lowdown on my birthday eve; School as usual, meet up with my bro, his fiancee and Zaidi in town to get my IPOD nano and new birkies(yea i gt it in my fv colour), dinner at restro surbaya(damn hungry and greedy), hitched a ride from zaidi back to meet up with the boy,hangout till about 11.Home sweet home.And he sang me a birthday song.awww,thanks.

I woke up the next day feeling sick and drowsy and I thought,"great wat a gd day to be sickly." But I was just very happy when the boy came over to help me upload songs into my nano. Thanks baby, my computer illiterate sweetheart. And yes i still owe him a song i supposedly suggested and had him singing along the whole day.

Nonetheless, the 3rd game of POL-ITEs went with a bang and we won with a comfortable scoreline.And everyone tried to trick me into getting SABO. LOL. i knew it!! Thanks to my secret admirer for the lovely note,hershey cookies and cream chocolate and the 100 plus. The boy missed out on the match cos something gt caught up at home. Crap. But he made up for it when me and Hafiz met up for dinner. Nothing like a gd meal with the two most prioritze boys in ur life. We had dinner and our fair share of laughs. Hafiz commented that the boy was apparently "hot stuff" haha, how ironic.

Seriously hafiz, the boy is more than just a pretty face with a super gorgeous look. He gets me ok. But it was kinda bland with my cousin. I was really hoping to see her. I miss her be it we just saw each other on sunday. But i really wanted her to get to know the boy.And she was excited to meet him. It would have been icing on a cake if she was there.

And so I had a low profile birthday with precious gifts from mummy, bro and the fiancee. But what matters the most is just being happy and knowing ur blessed, alive and well. Turning twenty-one might be a big deal but it really made me feel whole and thankful for all the that i'm blessed with. And it's sure as hell a really great way to end the year.God blessed.

watch for photos...coming soon

Post Mortem - The aftermath.

Yesterday was a series of blunders and probably the worst feeling i had to go through during a game. It didn't help that I was a bit under the weather. And of course, as much as we hate to deny it there was complancency. Regardless the win and the scoreline, I wasnt as much into the game as the one against RP. I guess the sick-bug and exhaustion is starting to kick in.

Nonetheless, I was happy that he came down to watch the game and sweet enough to take me out to dinner. Nothing special yet it lifted my spirits. That's the very same reason why I am blessed and thankful to have him. I suppose there's a very rational explanation to all that has happen. He is my beautiful disaster..Thanks for keeping me warm on a very cold day.

I just pray i dont fall sick. But i'm dying to get MC.I just want him to take me to clinic and treat me like a sick person. I'm just greedy for more TLC i guess. selfish but I hv to.period.


3 Down, 2 more to Go. counting down to the Big day ...1 day to go.

confessions of LoveHunter turn Love Junkie.

Do you ever get days where you just feel like everything that is happening around just seems Surreal? Or days where you just wake up and feel like you finally discovered happiness? It seems rather undeserving when such things happen when you least expect. Thus, I'm starting to pinch myself every now and then just to be sure. Always wanting to ensure that I dont get carried away too much by such words or emotions.

I'm known to be very giving and selfless when it comes to matters of the heart. Yet as I see him looking back at me I try to keep my cool. I promised myself that i shouldnt look at things a certain way or perceive a certain judgement. I just want to let things run its own course. It's weird knowing someone adores you having known that you adore them as much.

Crazy how things are.And they say,"always expect the unexpected". I pray to god that this is the blessing that is long due. I pray that he will keep me safe from harm.

I believe in God and i'm blessed.Are you?

The first POL-ITES game kicked off yesterday and it was 3-0 to us against SP. Congrats to the tpiranhas for working so hard to win the game although we could have easily thrashed them.
And yes people, I scored a freaking Try for the team. Wuhoo! I was so pumped and it felt so damn good. Good start to the POL-ITES.

Good things started to happen after the game. I met up with Hafiz, Gf and the 2 IZs. That was alrite but i suppose wat really made my day was the unexpected phonecall. I wish that it would have come sooner but I suppose things happen for a reason.

I dont really know what to make do with all these feelings. But i could afford a breather. I guess all the ramblings of lonliness probably add up to this exact moment. For so long, I thought miracles dont exist but they do. And for that I thank God for I am blessed with all that I have.

just how pastel can pastel be?! I'm starting to hate the term "pastel". And i'm starting to do more work than I should during SIP. Why so? Maybe i just need to focus on something more than just matters concerning me and a guy. It's getting easier to run away these days. If I feel like my heart cant take it, it's just very easy to run away.

I dont understand how some people cope with heartbreaks and having to move on time and time again. But still that dont deter me from taking risks that would eventually lead to "heartbreak". But I'm numb to that so it gets easier to move on and go to the next one that comes along.

But what does it mean when you've known each other for wat seems like eons and fate just has its way of making you bump into each other all the time? I think it's hard for me because I recalled having my silly feelings trampled and dignity stripped years back just so I could see the guy I gave my heart to confessed his love and see him walking away with your bestfriend; like a prize-trophy.Now he's back to what he claims a formal apology and to play catch up knowing that I would fall right back.

Why? Why would you do such a thing? Have u ever heard of setbacks? I have taken too many setbacks to know that I might just love you now yet you never spared a single thought for me. Why do you hold my hand when you knew I could nt hold on to it? Why do kiss me gdnight knowing I would dream about it and nt ever feel that warmth again?

I guess somethings are better left unsaid and undone.

the good and the bad

and so it seems. Life has its fair share of balance, yin & yang or karma, however you wish to put it. Since the last, I have been trying to find that balance in order to stay focus day in, day out. Some may say that it must have been a miracle for things to turn out the way they are but others might just say it's pure luck or maybe sheer determination.

Now that the clouds have cleared it seems that every scarifice and standing in the rain have paid off. Having made into the Prestigous IP team, I count myself blessed. It being the first and the last before i graduate, it's bittersweet symphony for me.But the best is yet to come,more hardwork and determination is needed to be put on the Pedalstal.

And so it was, the day I saw loverboy. All the knots in my stomach seems to be kneading it's way up through my whole system. I was acting like school girl again(geez I hated that), but it seems to be the same old same old for us. Except he was less himself. He grew his hair out and his gottie looks so cute it almost seem manly on him. But nothing was worth rejoicing because we're still the same but now we just seem to drift further apart, more than we use to.

...when it gets bad i just pray and hope for the best, knowing that I have been very blessed gets me through even the hardest thresholds..

the raye madness!

check this out this is quite true...

Does your name begin with: N
You are emotional and intense. When involved in a relationship, you Throw your entire being into it. Nothing stops you; there are no holds barred. You are all-consuming and crave someone who is equally passionate and intense. You believe in total freedom. You are willing to try anything and everything. Your supply of energy is inexhaustible. You want to be pampered and know how to pamper your mate. You also enjoy mothering your mate. You often have the greatest love affairs all by yourself, in your head. You are very imaginative.

NOVEMBER
Has a lot of ideas Difficult to fathom Thinks forward Unique and brilliant Extraordinary ideas Sharp thinking Fine and strong clairvoyance Can become good doctors Careful and cautious Dynamic in personality Secretive Inquisitive Knows how to dig secrets Always thinking Less talkative but amiable Brave and generous Patient Stubborn and hard-hearted If there is a will, there is a way Determined Never give up Hardly become angry unless provoked Loves to be alone Thinks differently from others Sharp-minded Motivates oneself Does not appreciates praises High-spirited Well-built and tough Deep love and emotions Romantic Uncertain in relationships Homely Hardworking High abilities Trustworthy Honest and keeps secrets Not able to control emotions Unpredictable

Sagittarius
Turn ons
Sagittarius is ba sically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with their zest and enthusiasm in life. They can bubble with excitement that can be tangible at times. And if you share same interests and hobbies then life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone goes to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.

Turn offs
Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction hence do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on talking about certain things that may not even interest you but it is their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the poi nt of being rude) so do not feel offended by their talks.