Rain drops keep falling off my head

It has been raining heavily for the past few days and it has dampened my holiday weekends as well. The mood around me is oh-so-not very good. The boy has been very hard this past few days. We cant go on having a conversation dat doesnt end in a fight. I've been very desperate that I have seek ways to silent myself from saying anything unneccesary just to avoid confrontation. And that's hard considering I'm not the quiet kind.

I'm just shocked at how much patience I have pertaining to this relationship. But I guess I try to understand things that he's going through and I just pray that God keeps me well. Sometimes when it gets it hard, I just swallow my pride and try to be happy for both our sakes. I made a vow and plan to keep it that way. I don't know if I could handle another heartbreak.

On a brighter note, New Year's around the corner and I have been looking forward to it. I love New Year's. Somehow signifies change and it's like clicking "refresh" button. It's not even New Years but I feel like i've already gone through a huge change in myself. Maybe not physical but emotional and mental aspect of it. It's really hard to explain though.

my one resolution for the new years is probably just to be happy.. that's what counts.

TGIF

I'm so glad it's friday although it's just a normal day of the week, the weekend's approaching though. I think i really have been a super slacker this week. For one, I hv fail on all accounts to clock in by myself and therefore needed help. I'm close to broke and I'm missing the Boy.

As sweet and as irritating he has been up to this point I have shown no signs of a breakdown. But i have to say i finally met up with his sister. We spent our after at IKEA and queensway looking for something appropriate for his X'mas gift exchange,( it boiled down to a pair of earrings and a cigarette casing) we went for the latter. Had hotdogs at IKEA, he had two and about two refills later we were off.

Somehow we found ourselves laughing our asses of at some place,Kaki Lima playing JENGA and smoking sheesa. Food and weird name drinks came and we moved on to play Monopoly Star Wars edition and more jokes and laughter.It was nice just having him and great company.

Somehow I miss Bestie and the usual gang. I wish they could be there. But some other time yea.Thanks to my little cuzzie for the lovely tee-shirt! love you adik! Thursdays was normal except we had social touch then I was off to meet BF. I was just glad to see steph. I miss you woman!

And so that was how the week went..

my cousin bought me this.Thanks sweetie!

Glad to know..

It's monday and what bums me out the most is the fact that it's term break and i'm stuck in school doing SIP. Crap, I can't wait for SIP to be over so normal time table could resume. I miss going to lectures and tutorials and I miss skipping them as well. But there's pros and cons of course.

It was about 4 days of not meeting up with the Boy but we met up yesterday. The ironic thing is how much I still miss him. I guess it hasn't come the point of love. But I have the feeling that something is amiss whenever he is not around. Poor dear, he hasn't sleep well enough becos his baby sister got admitted into the hospital. And all we did was hugged and talk about all the things he had been through when we werent together.

Sometimes I feel so undeserving of such attention yet I yearn for it. He makes me feel like I need him to be around and no matter how much i deny the fact that I want him around all the time, he's unselfish to pay me that much attention. I guess that's what's bfs are for.

Maybe we havent given it much thought but we do have that tingle feeling whenever that special someone is around. And it's when they're not around that we really feel lost.Have good week guys!

Coming to a Close.Phew.

i realise that the week have passed by so quickly.It's going to be another weekend soon and new years in no time. So much reflection to be done for the past year. The highs, the lows. The events and great moments to live by. People come and go. New friendships forged and old friendships bonded. As i sat by my lappie thinking of what i should jot down on my resolutions list, I thought of the people who have an impact in my life and how i have made an impact in their lives.

I'm still bummed out over the terms that SIP students still hv to do school-time during break.Bummer.But my web layout was very much approved by the company and I'm so darn glad that it worked out. Hell yea.

Things have been fine and has it's ups and downs. I learn a whole lot about relationships this week. It was really a test to my patience but it was really something I had to go through in order to progress. I suppose learning to love someone is kinda of hard when there's so much to discover.

But today was still the best recorded slacking day to date. With just me and Fai in the lab. We were up to no good; the youtube viewings, the hollywood gossip page reading and paparazzi shots, taking short uncomfortable naps, illegal breaks for milo. haha. I did one better i camwhored and decide to have an MMS face off with the boy.


the 1st shot


Toilet shot 1


Toilet shot 2


Toilet shot 3


At the brink of boredom-Arghh!


I was really bored..


He had the same thoughts.cute.

Midweek Blues.

here's the deal,
I want a piece of cake and be able to eat it. Although the saying goes otherwise.
I think my ying&yang is totally off balance. Why so? Because I can't seem have to things to be going the way I want it to be.Just before you say,"oh no,not again(because apparently i seem to be in those sticky situations one too many time)." It's different this time.
I'm just having a frustrating time trying to rationlize how in the name of the world I am going to understand my mum.

I have come up with a perfect reason as to why she's always getting mad at me. Lonliness. It's a fact but she's in the state of denial. That's one of the few reasons why I hate having a life outside of home. It just kills me having to go through rows after rows with her. It gets really exhausting having to argue over little things and then make up just to fight again.Hmph! But I suppose she's just worried that her kids won't give her the attention she needs because(reality check;) we grew up.
I'm so torn. Therefore, the Boy and me have come with a solution. We pray it works.

The past few days have been real a test to my patience. I have never known a guy who could be so super paranoid and extremely grouchy when unwell. I just keep telling myself that it's ok and patience is a virtue. As pissed as I was a times, it breaks my heart to see him so weak. But he still manage to look gorgeous. How could you be sick and gorgeous all at the same time? Cliche yet it's a known fact. I somehow realise that I could an insecure biatch. I think that's natural when u're a emotionally dependent on someone and it kills not knowing what to expect next.

But I could just be thankful and be blessed that he doesn't turn out to be one of those tear-jerkers boys who flee at when you need them most.I hate to tell myself,"I told you so."

Mundane Monday.

Congrats to Tpiranhas for winning the coveted spot for POL-ITEs. We're certified GOLD baby!

My weekend was bleah. Nothing special. Missed out on the saturday BBQ, sorry girls! Other than the fact that I have been meeting up with The Boy every chance I get to, everything else was normal. Saturday was ok because mum cropped up the BBQ plans but I wasnt pissed la, just happy that I ended at WCP, midnight having macdonalds with The Boy. Time well spend joking and fooling around with what energy we had left. Bedtime was close to 430am but I was already full-blown stoned by 330am. I was knackered. But thanks sweetie for spending some mosquito-biting time with me. It was a blast.

Sunday was no feat. Woke up super early looking like a very unhappy grouchy old-hag. Binge on the chicken dish mummy cooked the day before and off to grocery shopping. Poor boy has a bad flu and headache and still manage to go to work.Before i knew it the day was coming to and an end. Dinner was the same as breakfast except I had additional mee soto before heading to Sheng Siong at my usual stall before. Bad tummy ache, bad mistake. Too much chilli burning up in my tummy.

730pm and I was off to meet up with bestie at Science Centre. Fun times. Super-mind blowing laughing and wireless session. That made up my sunday. Met up with The very sickly Boy before taking the bus home. Poor dear he looked so sick i just feel like wrapping him up with a blankie.Presistant as always I had to practically drag myself home but my heart goes out to the sick Boy.Pretty much sums up my weekend.

here' s the pics that i promised...


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The Big Day

It's well about 7 hours to our last POL-ITEs games. It's the buzz word that is on everyone's mouth. We've come so far for this and yes, the girls will be doing and giving their all. All the hardwork and dedication put in from the girls, Marli and Aisya. It saddens me how bittersweet this experience has been for me. But it's with the girls that makes more enjoyable. I wouldnt trade anything in the world for what that has been going on. Good luck to us. Enjoy girls, we deserve this one.

Yesterday was quite a day, other than the fact that mummy hasnt spoke to me. I felt a great feeling of abandonment. Be it in school or at home. I cant wait for the day to end so the Boy can cheer me up with his funny antics. Poor him, tired and exhausted from work yet he still insisted we meet because he misses me. Awww, so sweet. Fiza came over before time due and it ended up being the four of us chilling out under the void deck. After a series of jokes, doodling on notepads and extensive sarcasim, the Boy decided to head home. Thanks for the hugs and cheering me up with your flexible facial expressions, it made my day. Cheers.