just how pastel can pastel be?! I'm starting to hate the term "pastel". And i'm starting to do more work than I should during SIP. Why so? Maybe i just need to focus on something more than just matters concerning me and a guy. It's getting easier to run away these days. If I feel like my heart cant take it, it's just very easy to run away.

I dont understand how some people cope with heartbreaks and having to move on time and time again. But still that dont deter me from taking risks that would eventually lead to "heartbreak". But I'm numb to that so it gets easier to move on and go to the next one that comes along.

But what does it mean when you've known each other for wat seems like eons and fate just has its way of making you bump into each other all the time? I think it's hard for me because I recalled having my silly feelings trampled and dignity stripped years back just so I could see the guy I gave my heart to confessed his love and see him walking away with your bestfriend; like a prize-trophy.Now he's back to what he claims a formal apology and to play catch up knowing that I would fall right back.

Why? Why would you do such a thing? Have u ever heard of setbacks? I have taken too many setbacks to know that I might just love you now yet you never spared a single thought for me. Why do you hold my hand when you knew I could nt hold on to it? Why do kiss me gdnight knowing I would dream about it and nt ever feel that warmth again?

I guess somethings are better left unsaid and undone.