Hope is a wishful thinking. At times people hope knowing there won't be any but they call it their saving grace. Hope makes you feel better knowing the worst is yet to come. Just like the calm before the storm. Truthfully, i am afraid to hope. And so i dont, i stopped hoping.That way i am always prepared if and when the storm approaches.



I would be what you call a drifter.I have a drifting soul and it's old. People might never notice but I am invisible. Sometimes i wish it would stay that way.Looking from the outside.But then that would never be the case.



I just realize that happiness lies within oneself and how you see it through your eyes..I sat down just the other day and my family just exudes happiness but my heart just cries..I wish i could just stand in the middle of the roomful of people screaming on top of my lungs that i need someone.The funny thing is people don't see how i see myself..



They choose to believe what they see.I am my own muse that cries beneath her laughter and laugh underneath her tears.I am the master of my destiny and the captain of my soul.....

i wish it never had to come to this.I'm so bummed out over everything.It's quite a pain trying to keep a positive outlook over everything against all odds.For well over 4 months i have tried to avoid the shindics of having any intentions of having a relationship.Unlike pple around me,i'm one of the unlucky bastards that can never attract a guy with just her mere physicalilty what more personality.As painful as i find it ,i just cant pretend to be happy.It is sucking the life out of me!

I had mix reviews about my nite out last nite.Some parts were fun and some parts just wished i was at home sleeping.It was a nite out at MOS with steph, marli,asrul and steph's friend(i sweared he was outcasted by us!).Nonetheless,amongst all the pushing at shoving at smoove, i was up to my usual partying antics.I spend almost the whole nite dancing by myself,checking out guys,teasing marli with her all-time fav dance move.Me and steph had a ball,asrul was dancing but at times only.Weird ppl danced with me.it's just one of those off-nites for me.Not quite enjoyable really.But if anything made the nite,it was bumping into Zaidi my bro's mate.He look so cool with his newly shaven cut.I sweared if i had it my way we'd bumping and grinding.Hehe.Nite ended soon after.After much sleep,i'm on the lappie writing an entry..cheers to a good day!