With the festive season well on it's way on it's 8th day. I am very much happy and satisfied with everything so far. Just a little overjoyed making the first POL-ITE touch cut. There will be a second cut and i want to be in the team claiming my very own coverted spot. Hehe,SNOB! But I have to survive the mind-blowing fitness(which apparently i lost touch), the focusing, the getting of rid of the my permanent bulge.heh.

School sucks as usual. The fact that my supervisor just sprung on me that we will be working with a company.Crap.Shit.Holy Bull.Gives me a whole new perspective.I work well under pressure.Now i'm just having a hard time getting a jumpstart although it has already been a week since school started.Having a non-active supervisor sure helps!rite.

Apart from all the stress of school and touch, I am still alive and well enough to get up everyday and plough through.So kids have fun,take care and Selamat Hari Raye!Cheers.

.....counting down to the BIG DAY-30 days-

i've been fairly obessed about this singer namely BUTCH Walker. He's not ur typical pop act.He's a rockstar with his own band,The let's go out tonites. Something i love about his lyrics would be his talent in putting emotions as real and raw as possible into a song. Maybe becos i've been spending too much time on my lappie all month long to discover such things.

It's just a typical tuesday.I woke up to my mum's usual morning call to list down the chores I had to complete.Bummer.After rushing through the list, i switched on my lappie and watched Tv all at the same time. That is probably my day-to-day routine. I wish could do something more productive.I'm having all this negativity that i cant shake off accumulated the more i stay at hm.

I'm starting to sense bad karma surrounding me. Just days ago, I was literally having the best moment of the year. Now i'm sititng in front of the lappie wondering what happened. How could you ever care for someone yet be so selfish? How could you tell someone you would literally give your heart and just dissapear? I still have no absolute answer to any of my impending questions.

I should just never let my guard down. The possibility of a heart break is 100%. Sometimes I wish i never caved. But when you know you've waited a long time for that moment it's impossible to turn your back. I'm still waiting to see if that moment will ever come again. Tell me, is this what love is suppose to be? Because if this is rite, I dont ever wanna be wrong no matter hw painful it gets.

this is hard but someone shared some light abt the latest at training.As much as i find it hard to accept, I am not trying to deny the very fact that I will miss out on the prestigious IPs again. I suppose i had it coming. It's a choice that i made when my mother laid down her rules. For the whole month. I'm starting to go insane but it's really not that bad i suppose. Maybe she just wants to instill some sort of discipline in me and most of the time I just enjoy my life rebelliously but under this circumstance I could not say no to her.She is afterall, my mother.

But on a positive note life will be back to normal as soon fasting ends.How much do I hate life now? Very much. How much will I live to regret missing out? Forever. When you work so hard for something just to know you'll never get it, pretty much your whole system crumbles. But when you're just numb to so many setbacks you know how to handle it.It gets easy after awhile.

Cheers to counting down the days to absolute freedom and being caged up all day. Cheers to the new school semester..

Invictus

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul,
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced or cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments is the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-william Henly-

Weird things happen when you least expect.I'm starting to have RUGBY SEPARATION anxiety..Considering that i'm away on the Mum-ban-training hiatus. But i must admit she hasnt been subtle about being nice to me. I guess my mum's cool that way.

I still feel bummed out for not coming down to watch the semis at turf. Woke a wee bit too late to get there.And last week i had to refused marli to play a game, i feel like i'm letting everyone down. How the hell did i turn into this unknown creature overnite.

As much as i feel bad and miserable some good things have happened.Like getting bestie his Zippo on his birthday and gt him a cake for his birthday.Like getting to know someone and it feels like he's my soulmate, too early to say anything though.

Nonetheless,with me counting down the days to getting my normal life back on track.I'm just anticipating..