Insomniac on the loose!

I find that my days have been passing by as slowly as it has. I was being nice towards my very pregnant cousin today.I was the first visitor in the room,she had me buying sandwiches and snapple for her breakfast.I getting less and less consious abt my well being even as i'm typing this entry.Very sorry to Rab for cancelling on lunch didn't know my cousin was getting discharge,she's like a sister so i had to help her out since evryone's working.I'm getting use to not have him call dat i take my own time to do everything which in a way is kinda refreshing.Ok,rite now i have nothing to say. i guess being insomnic is really getting to me...help i need a cure!oh and not to mention,due to lack of sleep i'm bloody getting zits on my face!

post mortem.....

ok it might sound dramatic but dats what i alwaes do after a paper.Sometimes, i just swear i wouldnt but i don't care.I think i did well for the supp paper but i shall choose not to dwell on it.Bad news;my pregnant cousin's in the hospital...i pray for her well being.I guess we were anticipating the baby too much that for some reason he could hear and decided to come out early.No news yet,there might be a possibility of a premature delivery but it's not confirmed.We're all pretty excited though..it's a long a waited one! I have been going through a rough few days. Gawd,i need retail therapy!Need either clothes or shoes would love that or that leather clutch dat I saw while browsing thru topshop with halijah. I really hope to pass my supp paper or i'll be stuck in EMATHS1 next term.OK,forget about that...i'm really bored now,watching EPL highlights on channel 5,thinking what to wear and wat to bring to the hospital tomorrow. He hasn't call or message but i'm not surprise..hahaha..ok den,good morning!

I've had it!

I reached breaking point yesterday..what else could be worst?!I can't believe he actually thinks i'm being soo bimbotic over my hair.It was so dumb!He started a fight about my attitude change ever since i got my do.How I makes him feel low and have no sense of fashion. He said i should just stop trying to play dress up becuase he's jealous.And he came up with other shit stuff about how i'm with the wrong guy and i was never the one whose gunning for our relationship.I told him that he should think before he said something..i can't believe it actually comes to this! He actually said i made him he feel very low all the time because i'm always outshinning his introvert personality. He says dat everything since we met and got together has always been abt ME! I might be an extrovert and be a bitch at times,but i'm not that selfish...i'm not dat heartless.It's thru that i have expectations but if act on it because i'm chasing it what am i still doing here?I guess he feels as if he can't hold up a candle to me or he's scared of something..blame me all you want. I guess i deserve it but i haven't even don't anything to offend him..so i guess i really had it...

i can't help feeling helpess...

i somehow can't seem to get studying..my brains are like taking a holiday right now.But no,i must strive hard to pass my supp paper.I can't stop now,i don't want to repeat that class.Ok,i will study after this..i pray i will.Maybe doing laundry will help me to start studying.It always works.Ermmm, haven't been hearing or meeting up with her these days.Kinda miss her,she's like my mojo...but i guess both of us will be busy for this few weeks do to exams and watnots.Ok rab,good luck for all your paper yea! To HUda,sorry i cancelled on u today..got supp paper to study for, but i'll see u next week!i guess datsabout it....pray for me!

Exhaustion!

I'm starting to wear out.All my energy is drain.I'm not really sure what is causing it.I'm bloody screwed,i'm just abt to start revision for supp paper which happen to be only five days away.But i'm determine to pass it!And so i shall..reading rab's blog certainly reminded me of myself and how ur past actually comes to haunt u in the future.There's always that temptation to go back and relive that past. But if there's one to learn, never ever trust the past and move ahead.I learnt that the hard way.I use to not be able to move on and face reality,always staying back and waiting to see if the past would come back but when it does it totally blows u off.So i learnt to always take reality face on.Hey,u can never know what might just happen rite? I'm actually starting to like my new hairdo..i've never seen my curls going on full blast. Well,i guess they say it's always worth it when u get a professional and expensive haircut! Bugger off!

curly wurly,fuzzy,wozzy...

I wish i could just leave.I'm tired and my eyebags are as huge as my eyes.I can't stand him,always getting on my nerves.He was being rude,maybe because he had to wait till i get my haircut.Btw,thanks to leech(halijah) for introducing me to Annie my new hairstylist..she's great.Showed me how to style and wear my hair out..i'm definately going back there again they made my curls curly again,yahooo!. Today was cool,having to spend time with leech and bitching about the old times.That was fun..we even had this two guys checking us out at LJS at cineleisure. Bad i hope he would just go away..i'm tired of trying to do or even say the right thing.He's being such a paranoid sometimes i feel like giving up..i feel shitty and mistreated..argggggh! There's so much angst,i need to get away...

and so it begins....

Today will be the first day i start mugging for that stupid paper. Gawd, can't believe i actually have to retake it.Well,at least it beats repeating the whole subject.I've been spending too much time on the computer..don't know how it will stop. I change my blog today..was getting so tired of black.I'm going back to school tomorrow for revisions,ermm..must say i've miss being in school and my friends..looking forward to see them.Something weird happen to yesterday...had the strangest dream.Dreamt that i got stuck in a black hole and i'm hearing voices..they were loud but it was strange..i woke to the sound of my mum getting ready to go to work.We had a heated arguement over something stupid..i spend the rest of the night talking shit to my brother..he's starting to corrupt my laptop with all his downloading..i am so going to kill him if it crashes..Looking forward to see huda this saturday,i miss hanging out wit her.The boys made plans too,aliff,fai,vinod and me.Hoping to meet them and catch up on old times.I miss my boyfriend today,couldn't get to him he had to work night shift..the woes of being attached to a policemen. I'm sure he's out having lunch with his friends..it's payday for him..too bad he gonna spend it all on a handphone..god i'm getting bored!

Haven't been myself...

i haven't been myself lately...i couldn't explain my actions as of lately..i've turn insomnic and i haven't been eating much.Yesterday was the most interesting day of my life..after so long i met him. Him,the guy that stole my heart years back..i was realli put to the test.Somehow along thru the whole time i was with him,i actually forgot what i had with fauzi..i think it was lucky of rab to be there with me or i would have lost it..But i'm glad everything is out in the open..he declared wat was my worst fear...he had feelings for me..i wasn't about to cave in..i just prayed it wouldn't come to this..so i jus stayed strong and told him we could just be friends and if anything would happen between us in future so be it..i guess it's really weird how things could happen when u least expect it..but it actually made me think and i realise that some things are out of our hands..rest assured we can do the least to change it..well,looking back towards reality..i need to take supp paper for my maths and dat sucks..i'm going to have to start mugging soon..well at least i will have something to work towards..MY THAILAND trip..rab if u're reading this we have to start planning as soon as your exams are over..well i guess dats about it.cheers!

Hurray exams are bloody over..Bugger i'm stuck at home rotting for days now..Anticipating my exam results,but i'm confident of taking supp paper,hahaha! Life is filled with TV shows these days and short meetings with rab and my bf...I swear to god i'm turning insomnic...Btw the oc is back and so is one tree hill oh gawd..what do i need to do to end up with either marissa's gardener, ryan or chad micheal murray..oh bloody americans, why do they have to be soooo hottt?! Anyways i have a shoutout to make to someone..namely FAIZULI! Babe,when am i going to get back my vintage adidas sweater? If huda is reading this please pass on and tell him to contact me A.s.a.P..
thank u! To Rab thanks for dragging me out of bed a few saturdays ago to do an assignment with you..i appreciate it very much..you're the best..hey sushi and gossips on thursday aight?!Cheers, have good week guys!