It hasnt been good and it hasnt been well.

Too many good pple hv left my side.

I bid them well and i bid them safe.

I'm starting break and I'm starting to fall;

I just hope i can be safe and pray for my miracle.

Lost in translation

Nothing much said about the past week. I hate being the person that I am. No pun intended but I hate being in the position i am right now except for a few good things in life that i hold so dear. I've been mind-blowing sick for the past few days I feel so weak. Yet a kind soul was so dear to spend time and accomadate to my impossible demands. Thanks BF, I love u..I really do.

I cant remember being so lost for a long time. I haven't had time to thing about it much. I'm just aimlessly trying to find my out of the maze that i self-created. Along the way I do get a lifesaver, but one person can only do so much. I just feel my mind is pretty messed up. Or maybe i'm just being a paranoid. I cant help thinking what people think and say about me.

As much I try to console BF of the same issues, i'm so hyprocritical of myself. I suppose I'm just denying myself to accept reality. Right now I just want to focus on my priorities. That's way more important than what anyone has to say..

A brand new start..not forgetting the past..

I finally have time to sit down to update. The past few days have been quite a blur. Holiday mood just tells me to slow down and unwind. It has been a great start to the new year so far. Things have been just good. But I'm guilty for some things I have yet to do.

I just realise that Rab went on a backpacking tour and I thought she was in singapore. I missed Hammie's chalet due to Hari Raya Haji. I screwed up alot of invites for new years. But i had a great time just chilling out with The Boy at west coast park. We saw fireworks and we were just happy.

I'm still dreading school which of course i skipped today. I bloody slept the whole day. Dont mind me, I just a lazy bum. Tomorrow will be back to normal. School and training as usual. Things hasn't been great at home. I dread being in the same place as mum these days. I hate turning older. It somehow signals me to be a grown up. But that's a whole different story. Good Day pple.

sins i've done u not know off, which breaks my heart to tell u not..

Happy New Year! Cheers to a Great 2007.

Rain drops keep falling off my head

It has been raining heavily for the past few days and it has dampened my holiday weekends as well. The mood around me is oh-so-not very good. The boy has been very hard this past few days. We cant go on having a conversation dat doesnt end in a fight. I've been very desperate that I have seek ways to silent myself from saying anything unneccesary just to avoid confrontation. And that's hard considering I'm not the quiet kind.

I'm just shocked at how much patience I have pertaining to this relationship. But I guess I try to understand things that he's going through and I just pray that God keeps me well. Sometimes when it gets it hard, I just swallow my pride and try to be happy for both our sakes. I made a vow and plan to keep it that way. I don't know if I could handle another heartbreak.

On a brighter note, New Year's around the corner and I have been looking forward to it. I love New Year's. Somehow signifies change and it's like clicking "refresh" button. It's not even New Years but I feel like i've already gone through a huge change in myself. Maybe not physical but emotional and mental aspect of it. It's really hard to explain though.

my one resolution for the new years is probably just to be happy.. that's what counts.

TGIF

I'm so glad it's friday although it's just a normal day of the week, the weekend's approaching though. I think i really have been a super slacker this week. For one, I hv fail on all accounts to clock in by myself and therefore needed help. I'm close to broke and I'm missing the Boy.

As sweet and as irritating he has been up to this point I have shown no signs of a breakdown. But i have to say i finally met up with his sister. We spent our after at IKEA and queensway looking for something appropriate for his X'mas gift exchange,( it boiled down to a pair of earrings and a cigarette casing) we went for the latter. Had hotdogs at IKEA, he had two and about two refills later we were off.

Somehow we found ourselves laughing our asses of at some place,Kaki Lima playing JENGA and smoking sheesa. Food and weird name drinks came and we moved on to play Monopoly Star Wars edition and more jokes and laughter.It was nice just having him and great company.

Somehow I miss Bestie and the usual gang. I wish they could be there. But some other time yea.Thanks to my little cuzzie for the lovely tee-shirt! love you adik! Thursdays was normal except we had social touch then I was off to meet BF. I was just glad to see steph. I miss you woman!

And so that was how the week went..

my cousin bought me this.Thanks sweetie!

Glad to know..

It's monday and what bums me out the most is the fact that it's term break and i'm stuck in school doing SIP. Crap, I can't wait for SIP to be over so normal time table could resume. I miss going to lectures and tutorials and I miss skipping them as well. But there's pros and cons of course.

It was about 4 days of not meeting up with the Boy but we met up yesterday. The ironic thing is how much I still miss him. I guess it hasn't come the point of love. But I have the feeling that something is amiss whenever he is not around. Poor dear, he hasn't sleep well enough becos his baby sister got admitted into the hospital. And all we did was hugged and talk about all the things he had been through when we werent together.

Sometimes I feel so undeserving of such attention yet I yearn for it. He makes me feel like I need him to be around and no matter how much i deny the fact that I want him around all the time, he's unselfish to pay me that much attention. I guess that's what's bfs are for.

Maybe we havent given it much thought but we do have that tingle feeling whenever that special someone is around. And it's when they're not around that we really feel lost.Have good week guys!