hey guys the thought of your soul rotting in a dump is so disgusting. But dats how i feel now, ignored, alone and torn. I'm on a emotional roller coster ride straight to hell. Getting drunk and wasted was not an option . But the joy of being free and losing yourself in it is like ecstasy. I wonder if anyone would actually offer me an option like keanu reeves did in the devil 's advocate with al pacino. The fact that i've been through changes like hormonal changes is new. I feel like my femme instincts has been screaming and kicking to get out. The fact that i pay more  i attention to wat kind of clothes and even lingerie wear is like Paris Hilton turning 13 or something. And of course the gahstly sight of belmishes and acne on my face is becoming an irritant. Maybe i sholud go for extreme makeover. Dat way i could change how i look, BUt it's definately a big risk...i guess i'm just talking trash now..i'm in total denial of myself at the moment. I just do not know wat i want in life..well ciao for now..cheers!